While COVID-19 may have left a lot of people in a state of constant anxiety for months, it reminded me about the finite nature of life and gave me the opportunity to learn that I have myself, and I have my truth. And I have to WALK in my TRUTH because without my authentic self, I don't have anything to give.
During the pandemic I was able to do a lot of self-reflection about who I wanted to be as a person and as a mother and embracing and loving on my whole self. It was a process! Of Course it didn’t happen overnight, it took some much needed therapy sessions, meditations, reflections, etc. and it took me almost two years and I wanted to give myself a special gift for my progress.
So this past year on my birthday I gave myself a gift...I made an intentional decision to be present in the moment. As a Taurus, who is an introverted empath, that wasn't easy. I tend to be an over-thinker and worrier. I analyze everything and pick it apart. I am truly my own worst critic!
And sometimes we're so busy looking back that we can't see how amazing our current reality is. Often we blame ourselves, but the truth is that we did our very best in that moment. There are times that we're so busy looking backward to pick apart the past that we can't see how brightly the pathway is illuminated for us in the future.
I often ponder about conversations, personal and business decisions I've made, opportunities or jobs I've taken and think about what I should have done differently or better or not at all.
But in the past two years I've taken some time to consider my patterns of behavior as an overachiever both in my personal life and at work. Constantly criticizing myself has also been mentally exhausting and detrimental to my emotional well-being. A big part of that has been how I talk to myself and what I think about myself.
I'm definitely a work in progress! I'm learning to let go of the past. I'm making an effort to take in every moment and to enjoy it to the max! I'm thinking less about potential "failure" and more about opportunities for learning and growth. And most importantly I stopped caring what people think about me over the past two years since I've written my first book and started my entrepreneurial journey. I literally have zero F's to give.
My focus lately has been more on the measurable change I needed to make to move the needle in my OWN sphere of influence.